Is Pre-Marital Counseling Really Necessary?

Pre-marital counseling is seen by many much in the same way as a pre-nuptial agreement: if you think you need it, maybe you shouldn’t be getting married. Furthermore, just like a pre-nup, pre-marital counseling can be quite a valuable resource for some couples. This is some advice on how to determine if pre-marital counseling is right for your relationship.

There are as many reasons to seek pre-marital counseling as there are engaged couples. Sometimes one party or the other might feel that there is a serious issue that needs to be worked through before it’s too late. Others may have the counseling recommended to them by a friend or clergyman. Or perhaps it’s a second marriage for the bride or groom, and they just want to make sure that this time around the marriage will stick.

Let me proceed with this document. Just as there are a variety of reasons to consider pre-marital counseling, you’ll find that there are different types of people who do the counseling. For instance, any couple wishing to be married in the Catholic Church has to first attend a form of pre-marital counseling with their priest and take part in Pre-Cana classes. This is a standardized type of pre-nuptial counseling, which is designed to help couples discover any potential conflicts they may have before the wedding occurs. The idea is both to set the foundation for a successful marriage and an open dialogue within the relationship. In rare cases, this type of pre-wedding workshop may also lead a couple to realize that they’re not compatible, and that the wedding should be postponed or cancelled now to avoid the heartbreak of divorce later.

Many of the couples who come to pre-marital counseling are those who have had a previous relationship end sadly. They may feel that if only they had sought professional assistance sooner, the first marriage might have been saved, and they’re determined to get the new one off on the right foot. This is a very noble and mature attitude; after all, everyone makes mistakes, those who can learn from them will be unlikely to repeat their errors.

Financial counseling can be an important part of pre-marital counseling. This is often the case when the bride and groom have very different spending habits, or if one party is entering the marriage deep in debt. Since money is one of the most common factors behind divorce, it’s very wise to get any potential issues out on the table so they can be addressed. This type of counseling might also involve a pre-nuptial agreement to settle questions like who retains which assets (property, wedding jewelry, valuables) in the case the marriage dissolves.

Sometimes the process of planning the wedding reveals issues best resolved pre-maritally. It may be that the bride and groom come from 2 different religious faiths, and now that marriage is in the picture, they’re at odds over how to raise any future children. Or maybe the groom has realized that given the chance, the bride will spend every penny she earns, now that he sees her approach to planning the wedding. The situation could also be the opposite: maybe the groom has been so cheap about everything from choosing the wedding jewelry to the reception menu that she now fears he’s not just thrifty, but possibly even a miser. Other common issues to address during pre-marital counseling include past infidelities and how to blend stepchildren into a new family.

As it turns out, there are many valid reasons to consider adding pre-marital counseling to your wedding planning calendar. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed to failure. In many cases, the desire to see the new marriage succeed is what leads a couple into pre-marital counseling, and ultimately may help them get their new marriage off to a wonderful beginning.

Guy writes on many subjects including travel,customs and society. SilverlandJewelry.com. Wedding jewelry makes a very thoughtful gift for the bride.